How to talk about money in a relationship

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5 min.

Is money taboo in your relationship? Here’s how to discuss your finances with your partner without making it a fight.

Is talking about your finances a taboo with your partner? It’s true, how you manage your money can become a slippery slope or the root of conflict in your couple. However, your financial situation is an important part of having a serious relationship. Cohabiting, buying a home, savings, your thousand and one projects, kids, retirement: learn how to discuss these things without a hitch and better plan your life together.

Why is money so taboo in a relationship?

In a couple, there can be divergences in financial management habits and opinions.

For example, the most economical of the two may get the feeling that how the finances are managed in their relationship is putting their financial security and future at risk, while the one who spends more may get the impression that their freedom and pleasure are being limited as they’re unable to spend as much as they’d like. A significant difference in income between spouses can also create some degree of uneasiness when it comes to discussing money.

However, it’s important to break the ice and have open and transparent conversations. The goal is to come to a happy medium where both partners are at ease.

Five tips for managing your finances with your partner

There’s no magic formula for optimally discussing money and managing your finances. But these five tips could give you a leg up!

1. Take the first step toward talking about money with your partner

Too many fear broaching the subject with their significant other for various reasons, whether it be shame, fear of being judged or fear of change. Trust your other half, no matter your financial baggage.

To get off on the right foot, it’s important to discuss how you see money in your relationship early on. Here are some questions to consider when planning your future together:

  • What are your short-, medium- and long-term financial goals?
  • What significant purchases do you want to make (car, house, travel, etc.) in the short, medium and long term?
  • How much debt do you have?
  • What is your debt repayment plan?
  • What are your savings solutions?
  • How do you envision the next five years?

2. Deepen your financial knowledge

There are many savings solutions, insurance options and tools out there that can help you make the right financial decisions. Do you know about them? Find out more and start making informed choices!

Mastering the various financial concepts will also make you more comfortable when it comes time to talk about money with your partner.

Good to know: You can always speak with a financial advisor! They’ll help you learn more about managing your finances and will provide personalized support based on your financial situation, whether for you alone or along with your partner.

3. Break down your expenses

How should you divvy up household expenses?

Whether you decide to share your expenses 50/50, based on income or using another strategy, aim for balance and equity so that both parties feel comfortable. When in doubt, you can turn to the impartial advice of a financial health and management professional!

Pro tip: You should keep your own bank account and personal credit card so as to retain your financial independence. A joint account is nevertheless very useful when it comes to dealing with shared expenses.

4. Make a budget

Oh, the art of budgeting! Creating a shared budget is a great way to come to an understanding about spending in your relationship. Making a shared budget follows the same steps as a personal budget. The difference? You have two heads instead of one!

Pro tip: First, make your personal budget based on your income, spending, debt, savings and investments. Your partner should do the same. Then, you’ll have an overall picture of your respective financial situations, which will make it easier to create a shared budget.

Include contingencies in your budget

You can’t foresee the unpredictable, but you can always be prepared!

If your spouse were to fall ill or suffer an injury and lose the capacity to manage their finances, not knowing how they handle their payments, bank accounts and investments could complicate things for you both!

Be prepared for any eventuality by openly discussing financial management with your significant other. It’s a good idea to create an emergency fund that covers three months of expenses and look into your insurance options.

5. Keep the communication channel open

Finances are always changing, which is why you’ll need to regularly bring up the topic with your second half.

Losing your job, getting a raise, having a child and buying a home are all factors that can have a significant impact on your financial situation. Your goals may also evolve over time. It’s by being open-minded, leaving judgment at the door and favouring listening and dialogue that you’ll maintain a healthy relationship with your money and your partner.

Psst! If you’re starting a family, don’t forget that you set the example for your children! They’ll pick up on your financial habits and your openness to discussing money.

Don’t let money come between you: Mistakes to avoid

Now that we’ve covered the should, let’s take a look at the should not:

  • Keeping secrets from your partner
  • Imposing your vision of money onto your relationship
  • Talking about finances at the wrong time
  • Waiting for a stressful moment to occur before raising the subject
  • Judging your partner’s personal spending habits
  • Not taking an interest in your partner’s finances

With these tips and tricks, you’ll definitely be able to seamlessly manage your finances and plan a bright future together!

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